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The Boy from Branson

I'm back to watching As the World Turns, because I'm interested in the story of gay teen Luke Snyder (Van Hansis).  Luke has been on the backburner since sometime last fall, when he expressed concern that maybe the kids at his school might not accept him, and then disappeared for a good long while.  Apparently everything was just peachy?  Then earlier this spring, I read reports that the producers had cast the role of Noah Mayer (Jake Silberman), a character slated to be Luke's love interest.  Silberman's first air date was May 31, while I was in Slovenia.  I've watched the show for the last week or so, though, and it appears that I have not missed any of the Luke-Noah love story.  Right now, it looks like Noah is supposed to be a love interest for Luke's friend Maddie Coleman (Alexandra Chando).  The only inkling that Noah might be something other than entirely straight was the dark pronouncement, uttered in yesterday's show, that he and his family back in Branson don't see eye to eye.  I'll keep you posted. 

The rest of the show is driving me insane.  Maddie's friend, teen sensation/child bride Gwen Norbeck Munson (played by teen sensation/daughter of Michael Landon Jennifer Landon), has developed this homunculus, named Cleo Babbitt, a horrifying creature played by Landon with a Raggedy Annie wig and dentures.  For the past week, Cleo has gotten a lot of screen time.  The only other thing that appears to be going on is a turgid storyline involving a marriage of convenience that seems to have turned into a kidnapping, with assorted corporate skullduggery and apocalyptic visions thrown in for good measure. 

And Still They Won't Believe Me

So the Thomas Dekker/Heroes promotional campaign mini-scandal rages on.  I don't care anymore, but the 7th Heaven clip is pretty funny. 

Icons Such as Cop and Stripper Mom

This is a really good interview with Bryan Fuller, the creator of some of the best recent death-themed TV shows (ie the ones that aren't Six Feet Under) and also, something called, um, Heroes?  There's what sounds like the real story behind the mysterious departure of gay/not-gay Zach, Claire's missing best friend and -- more importantly -- Milo Ventimiglia's coif. 

And We're Back, Again

According to AfterElton, As the World Turns has apparently cast the role of "Noah," slated to be a love interest for Luke Snyder, the gay character I was writing about sometime last year, who promptly disappeared at the conclusion of his coming out storyline last summer.  Jake Silberman will premiere May 31.  Duh duh DUH. 

Save the Cheerleader, Butch Up Her Friend

Has Heroes already reached a Lost level of fan and media saturation?  Here is an exhaustive report on the sexuality of that cheerleader's best friend.

The World of Normal Boys

I've been so busy writing fan fiction based on the "SexyBack" video a hit play that I haven't commented on As the World Turns in a long time.  That's too bad for a few reasons: 1. I think it's important; and 2. lately I've been mostly very critical of the show and it's time I praised it like I should. 

About three weeks ago, all of a sudden, the Luke storyline got very good.  Damian went back to Malta in disgrace, after all his schemes were exposed.  There was a vaguely climactic scene in the airport with guns.  It doesn't matter.  Afterwards, Jade convinced Luke to accompany her to Raven Lake, where all the straight kids were going to get massacred by the local serial killer.  This was great: one of my big complaints about Luke is that he's never allowed to interact (read: "make out") with kids his own age.  Luke for some reason decided that he really wanted to use the serial killer field trip to come out to all the kids in his class, particularly Kevin, the boy he likes.  That went badly in a really good way: Kevin got angry and threatened to beat Luke up.  Jade, in full fag-hag mode, showed up and turned the mother out all over Kevin.  It was awesome -- for Jade, anyway.  Then Kevin called Luke a faggot in front of a bunch of other kids.

Later, Luke was sulking by the side of the lake while Kevin was out in a boat with his girlfriend, Liv, drinking.  Liv hit Kevin over the head with an oar -- it made sense at the time -- knocking Kevin out.  Of course stupid Liv can't swim, so Luke had to swim out and save shitheel Kevin, diving into the water just as the serial killer was going to grab Luke and slash his throat!

Of course Kevin wasn't breathing or not very much, so Luke had to give him mouth-to-mouth while rubbing his chest.  It was hot. 

After that, there was a series of good scenes: Luke being gracious to Kevin and Liv, who looked like total assholes; Kevin trying to be decent to Luke; Holden showing up and talking Kevin into maybe possibly not being such a tool anymore when school starts.  The Holden-Kevin scene was a real highlight -- well-written and -acted, very affecting. 

Also crammed into this week was an episode in which Holden told his mother, Emma (Kathleen Widdoes) that Luke is G-A-Y.  This was sort of necessary because, back in the 1980s, the other time ATWT had a gay character (Hank, played by Brian Starcher), Emma totally wanted to run him out of town.  This time around Emma was a lot less mean.  The whole thing was pretty good, mostly because Widdoes is an interesting, idiosyncratic performer who does unexpected things with ordinary material. -- Peter 

The Gay MacGuffin

Things are getting worse on the Gay! Teen! America! Soap! front.  Earlier this week, Daniel Coleridge of TV Guide reported that Ben Hogestyn (Lucas) is leaving General Hospital.  Hogestyn was never on contract; Lucas last aired in June, breaking up a fight at the prom.   Hogestyn jumped to The Bold & the Beautiful, where he will be on contract.  I hope this works out for him.  I thought he did very nice work on GH with an underwritten and often strident character. B&B has a bad track record with new characters, though.

Meanwhile, on As the World Turns, Luke has devolved to a sort of femme-y MacGuffin in a plot revolving around the love life of his cousin, Lucy (Spencer Grammer), who's been seducing Damian in order to determine whether or not Damian is in fact dying, because . . . never mind.  I felt like we were headed somewhere with Luke's new beard, Ada, a few weeks ago, but that was one long detour from this boring and creepy Lucy-Damian hook-up.  Other than that, the show has been oddly engrossing.  The rest of the teens are embroiled in a serial killer story, which, while not terribly inventive or suspenseful, has at least a frisson of narrative tension.   

-- Peter

A New Beard

July is a sweeps month for daytime television, apparently.  I think this is one of the reasons that we had the whole drama with The View at the end of June: I'm sure the controversy, combined with the interest generated by the guest hosts, has boosted the show's ratings. 

As the World Turns feels like it's in sweeps mode as well right now.  Last week, as I think I mentioned earlier, they played the protracted death of a central character, Jennifer Munson (Jennifer Ferrin).   This week were the funeral and wake.  I've been totally sucked into the sadness, even though I never cared for the Jennifer character.  I'm a sucker for that sort of stuff anyway and there's another contributing factor: Benjamin Hendrickson, who played Jennifer's father, Hal, since 1985, committed suicide on July 1.  Hendrickson, a member of Juilliard's inaugural drama class, was among the most compelling performers in soaps.  Watching him play the grieving father all this week was both moving and deeply uncomfortable. 

Meanwhile, a new arc seems to be starting for Luke.  Lily is still comatose and Damian still seems to be interested in curing Luke of his gayosity, but those stories are both definitely backburnered.  In yesterday's episode, Kevin tried to fix Luke up with Ada, a friend of Kevin's new girlfriend, Liv.  Luke told Kevin he's "not into girls."  Kevin clearly didn't understand what Luke was trying to say, assuming that Luke prefers "women," like Jade (Jade is apparently older than the other kids?  Even though she used to refer to Luke as "like a big brother"?), to "girls" like Ada.  Kevin assured Luke that Ada "has potential," which, I don't know what that means, but I find it troubling.  Is it clear yet that Kevin is skeevy?   Luke finally caved and agreed to a double-date.  So, it's something.  It's not "The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades Is Out to Get Us!" but it will do for now. 

Ass Over Tea Kettle

This week, Jenny's going to be at this and so, hopefully, won't notice if I bring up my book-larning again.  I plan to post about some books tomorrow or the day after. 

In the mean time, I have to report on the latest development in the Big Gay Luke saga on As the World Turns.   Damian talked poor, dumb, spineless Lily into sending Luke to a special gay-away camp run by blatant con artist Dr. Ross "I'm Not a Deprogrammer!" Kreeger (Hal Hartley regular Damian Young, also known as Lisa Kudrow's husband on The Comeback, also known as the lovelorn bus driver on The Adventures of Pete and Pete).  Lily left Luke in the house alone with creepy Kreeger and then bothered to read the brochure for Camp Cupcake, at which point she finally figured out that she had consigned her only son to some weird mind control cult.  Her response to this earth-shattering and yet soul-crushingly obvious information?  To rescue her son from Dr. McPervy, right?  Well, yes, but first she needed to confront Damian at his hotel.  (I give up.)  Luke, meanwhile, was having none of what Kreeger was offering, and so went upstairs to hide and call his father.  Unfortunately, Lily came home and found Luke at the top of the stairs, mid-freak-out.  Words were exchanged, there was a stuggle, and next thing you know, a stunt gal (as Joan Collins would say) was tumbling down the stairs.  When she got to the bottom, Martha Byrne took her place and we all stared, aghast. 

Of course in real life, Byrne just gave birth to a child of some sort, and so Lily's no doubt headed for a refreshing coma of some sort, so Byrne can take her maternity leave.  ATWT used the exact same plotline a few years ago, with a different actress.  In that case, it was a mother-daughter-sleeping-with-the-same-man thingie that led to the stairs/stunt gal thingie.  If only . . . -- Peter

A Special Xenophobia Edition of Gay Soap Teen Watch

Jenny --

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  The truth is that May sweeps almost ended me.  I've been scared to take on new shows.  All I've watched over the past few weeks is season 1 of Veronica Mars, on DVD, over and over again.  It turns out it just gets better.  The latest I've learned is that Percy Daggs III (Wallace) is that show's secret weapon.  He has the best line deliveries, the best reaction shots and the most effortless chemistry with Kristen Bell (Veronica).  Oh, and this latest viewing has turned me into a Veronica-Weevil (Francis Capra) 'shipper.  He's seriously the only guy smart enough for her.  I also like Tina Majorino (Mac) more all the time.

I've also been keeping up with the stories, mostly.  General Hospital finally beat me.  I was enjoying it, actually, was almost at the point of watching it for pleasure, but the big sweeps stunts were boring, so when it became clear that they were not going to revisit the gay story anytime soon, I dropped it.  As the World Turns is actually worse than GH.  I've been watching, because lately Luke is on almost every day, but I hate it.  Unless Luke gets some kind of love interest pretty soon, I'm going to stop watching.  Otherwise, I can't imagine his story developing in any way that's interesting.  Currently, it's just endless conversations about identity politics and how they relate to his parents' marriage, now foundering under the strain caused by the disparity between Holden's tolerance and Lily's denial. 

Worse, Luke's birth father, shady Maltese(!) shipping tycoon(!) Damian Grimaldi (Paolo Seganti), has resurfaced.  This is all so much less fun than it should be.  Back when Seganti was on the show in the early '90s, he was super-hot -- he had clearly been hired for his pecs and his incomprehensible (Maltese!) accent.  Now, he and Jon Hensley (Holden) seem to be engaging in a special coiffure edition of Ed vs. Spencer: Seganti works the matte color with the super-high wing-back while Hensley gets wispier and orangier by the day.  It seems clear the show doesn't know what to do with Seganti.  He seems incapable of re-igniting his former chemistry with the very pregnant Martha Byrne (Lily) and outside of the endless reiterations of "My son-a's a gay-a!", all he does is sit around a hotel lobby with the show's grande dame, Lisa (Eileen Fulton), talking about the good old days.  It's depressing.

Love,

-- Pete