Wow! Is it just me or is there a huge difference between eight dancers and six? The stage looks empty. Where is everyone? That said, I think we have the right final three. Maybe Gev should have been there, too, I don't know. Joshua winks before his solo and my stomach flips over. He's going to win!
Cat is wearing silver, per usual. I like the flippy hair. Not crazy about the dress.
No time for the usual introductory blather from the judges. Adam Shankman is our guest judge, which is surprising and not encouraging.
Mark/Courtney. This is pretty good, although it makes me nervous because Mark is super-femme-y and I keep expecting someone -- Nigel -- to draw attention to it. Shankman is surprisingly brief. But, as if to make up for that, Mary is unusually incoherent, almost Paula-Abdul-like, in fact. What am I saying? Mary can never even at her worst approach Paula. But the shouting is starting to make me very tired. OK. We're safe -- no limp wrist talk from Uncle Nigel.
Chelsie. Pussycat Dolls. Uh-oh. Is this smart, Chelsie? Does your audience want to think of you as a Pussycat Doll? Chelsie! You are not a whore!
Twitch. Midnight Star. Gold teeth, glasses. I feel like the take-away from Will's ouster was that America does not like gimmicks, and this routine . . . is nothing but gimmicks. OK, some good moves, but this is 90% bullshit and 10% mugging. But. I'm a sucker . . . for Cat. Her post-routine bits with the glasses and teeth make me laugh out loud.
Joshua/Katee. Another weepy contemporary piece. It's technically flawless, but super-boring -- and I usually like the lachrymose shit. The judges like it, I think. Shankman for some reason just rambles about himself for about 15 minutes and I have to wander away.
Chelsie/Twitch. Wow. No one wants to say it, but I will: Twitch just shat the bed. The judges fall all over themselves trying not to criticize him. Oh wait. No, actually, Nigel says it, pretty much. Is it just me or is Twitch in serious trouble?
Katee. Worst musical taste of the top 20? Hi, Katee! This routine sucks. Am I wrong? She doesn't show us anything in this routine.
Joshua. Memphis Bleek. This took maybe a little too long to get started and the best stuff was after the music had stopped. There was also a lot of just walking around between moves. But does it matter?
Mark/Courtney. It's a Sonya routine. I'm going to vomit from the anticipation. Huh. Good piece for these two (especially Mark), although it didn't speak to me as much as Sonya's others have. Of course the judges -- not Shankman, to his credit -- freak out about what a head case Sonya is. Whatever.
Joshua/Katee. I think I just had a seizure. Shankman makes a veiled reference to the presidential campaign. Right? Then Mary, predictably, shrieks herself hoarse, again. Nigel pretends he's going to criticize Joshua but instead says what I'm thinking, which is that Joshua has thrown the entire enterprise off balance with his awesomeness. Mary shrieks again. I want to rescind my seizure complaint now, because I've got a real problem: I think that prolonged exposure to Mary's voice is giving me deep tissue bruises -- everywhere.
Courtney. Elisa -- whoever the Hell that is. This looks like the same thing she's danced every week for as long as I can remember. But it might be enough.
Mark. It's a good performance, and a smart one, which is to say that he whips his shirt off.
Twitch/Chelsie. This is maybe the funniest routine we've ever seen. This is great. Somehow, though, for Shankman, it's all about his own film career. I give up. Mary seems to be saying goodbye to Twitch. Interesting.
Out: Oh, God. I can't tell. Twitch and Courtney? Joshua and Chelsie aren't going anywhere, but of the other four, I think any of them could be eliminated. This is crazy -- just let all six compete in the final.
Comments