So You Think You Can Dance Top 8 Couples

Dear Jenny,

I think this is what the kids today call "live blogging." I'm watching So You Think You Can Dance and I'm typing. Oh God. I'm already falling behind.

My highlight, week after week, is seeing what Cat Deeley is wearing and what she's doing with her hair. Today she's wearing what looks like a wedding dress, only super-short, and her hair is a little rough.

Adam Shankman is the guest host, which means we've got some Mia Michaels choreography coming up. So cool. He just said "Adam Sandler Christmas movie," though, which is deeply weird and is making me very anxious.

Cyd Charisse is dead, which is sad, although I'm guessing she was quite old. Cat Deeley is only 5'9". The Hell? Are all these dancers dwarves?

Commercial break, thank God. I am also making dinner, as the kids call it today. That Eddie Murphy movie, though . . . You know.

Twitchington. Some time killing at the beginning. Twitch laughs like a bear and Kherington has a shopping problem. Now we get highlights from last week's Celine Dion baby angel bullshit. Sorry. Viennese Waltz. They get a Tabitha and Napoleon piece this week and not so surprising, it's really cool. Nigel pretends that he's going to have something bad to say and . . . we get it.

Wow. Mary Murphy is sparkly tonight. And it's almost 8:25 and we've had just one performance. This blows.

Gev/Courtney. This was boring, but the judges seem to be going for it. I think these two are very safe this week, if only because Courtney is kind of naked? She's still got the best hair of the competition, which must help, plus we learned that she is learning to be a special ed teacher. Oh, and? I still kind of think that something is going on between her and Gev.

Nigel is like your pervy uncle. Adam Shankman just compared Mary to a disco ball and now he's rambling some  . . .Nigel is making a deal about that. He should be happy -- we have a lot of time to kill.

The Dark Knight trailer. I can't stand how much I'm looking forward to that. Ditto Fringe. The Sarah Connor Chronicles? Not so much.

Chris/Comfort. Confirmed: Chris has a weird body. I think this whole thing was a hot mess. (Mary is "disinterested.") I don't think it's the choreography's fault, and neither does Adam Shankman. Comfort, though? Still too big for this freaking show.

Space Chimps. Wow. I haven't seen Wall-E, but I know that Space Chimps sucks. L.C. and Brody Freaking Jenner are shilling for AT&T. Whatever.

Will/Jessica. Holy crap. So the pre-routine patter for them is deeply ironic. Jessica says that Will is a true gentleman -- opening doors and what not. Then Doriana Sanchez says that the routine is all about giving Jessica a chance to shine (because everyone already loves Will); the subtext seems to be, "Shape up, Ariel, because we will not let you be an albatross around the neck of our darling Will." Then Will steals the performance yet again. Unless one of the remaining couples really screws the pooch, these two are going to the bottom and Jessica? Is not coming back.

Julia Ormond is in that Kit Kittredge: An American Girl movie? The one with weirdly blond Abigail Breslin? Julia Ormond is still working?

Matt/Kourtni. New choreographer, piece about superheroes fighting and flirting? I don't know about that, but this was Matt and Kourtni's best performance so far, the only one that I've actually enjoyed -- and it made me like Matt for the first time.

Thayne/Chelcie. Quick step. Wow. I don't care. I hate quick step and these two drive me insane. Nigel says something about them being Band-Aids with smiles plastered on, which . . . has he been watching the past three weeks? This isn't a new development.

Mark/Chelsea. More Tabitha and Napoleon. Sucky music, good routine. I still love these two.

Joshua/Katee. This is actually kind of funny -- Joshua says Katee screams like a boy, which she does. I think I sort of like Katee. Her awkward moment dance thing is funny, too. Huh. Another half-dress. That seems very en vogue this week. You know Nigel is going to like it. Pig. I can't decide what I think about this routine because I'm distracted, thinking that they should have done this to "Don't You Worry 'bout a Thing" -- which they played during the rehearsal footage. Oh, wait. Oh my God. Nigel is now an equal opportunity harasser? He just drew everyone's attention to Joshua's "bum." Then he directed the camera to Joshua's father's ass as well? And I died? I can't tell which is driving me insane right now -- all of that or Katee's hair. Or Mary Murphy bringing up the stupid hot tamale train again.

I need to lie down.

Love,

-- Pete

P.S. Where is Mia Michaels?!