Dear Jenny,
I'm finally caught up on Top Chef and I wanted to do a brief recap of last night's episode, but I'm actually far more interested in pitching the new show idea I just came up with. Do you think you can help me develop it?
I was struck, while watching the show, by how much wittier ("But Grandma's chicken will kill you!"), more astute and more bullshit-proof the Elks were than Tom Colicchio and company. (To be fair, I think Chef is generally a good judge and an interesting correspondent, but last night's puns -- invariably followed by canned laughter from the rest of the jury -- seemed horribly forced.) So I had this idea. I'm going to call it Cooking for Seniors. It's going to be just like Top Chef, only the judges will be your mother, my mother and a rotating third slot, to be filled by a member of one of their book clubs. There will be no more talk about flavor profiles. Nothing they eat will be "bright" or "muddy." You can be the host, but only if you bring the décolletage.
Speaking of which: is it just me or was Padma wearing kind of a lot of clothes last night? I got to thinking that maybe the Elks Lodge had been established as a Frottage Threat Level Orange Zone or something. Thoughts?
Love,
-- Pete
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